Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
