Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
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He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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