"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
