drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize