Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
