he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
