Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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  (916): How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids. (1-916): Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/28ax
  Replies (27) Good night (3845) Bad night (1036)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone

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  (585): Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone http://tfl.nu/rrl6
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  (619): View more from California

  Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?

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  (619): Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose? http://tfl.nu/me2j
  Replies (17) Good night (536) Bad night (4514) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please

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  (860): chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please http://tfl.nu/p1fk
  Replies (30) Good night (3130) Bad night (1218) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.

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  (931): Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person. http://tfl.nu/od1c
  Replies (46) Good night (6905) Bad night (736)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing

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  (813): yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing http://tfl.nu/tarj
  Replies (71) Good night (12523) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.

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  (+45): Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars. http://tfl.nu/6p4j
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (2408) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

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  (203): I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis. http://tfl.nu/m2ek
  Replies (15) Good night (6029) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You left your underwear on the fireplace

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  (843): You left your underwear on the fireplace http://tfl.nu/ha55
  Replies (4) Good night (2223) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.

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  (317): The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures. http://tfl.nu/juvj
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour

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  (859): will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour http://tfl.nu/165f
  Replies (4) Good night (1530) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately

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  (913): Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately http://tfl.nu/v1vv
  Replies (8) Good night (1453) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position

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  (954): tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position http://tfl.nu/ss2w
  Replies (5) Good night (927) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I love you.

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  (214): Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants. (1-214): I love you. http://tfl.nu/sgzz
  Replies (5) Good night (2349) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.

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  (425): Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage. http://tfl.nu/p8gy
  Replies (13) Good night (364) Bad night (1945) Order T-Shirt

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