clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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