have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
