sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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