I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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