And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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