I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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