That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
