I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
