:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
