Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
