i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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