I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
