i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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