is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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