so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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