Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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