Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i came on her dog
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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