Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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