this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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