The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
