a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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