Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
