Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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