There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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