I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
