He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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