ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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