it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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