i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize