I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
