Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
