and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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