Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
