He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
