She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
What a dumb baby whore.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
