You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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