ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
