Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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