My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable JÃ¤ger bomb incident in Sweden.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came