Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"

(1-415): View more from California

What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.

(415): View more from California

He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."

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(803): View more from South Carolina

i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby

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(509): View more from Washington

Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.

(406): View more from Montana

IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well

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(970): View more from Colorado

I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?

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