i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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