I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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