Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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