just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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