Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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