You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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