my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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