Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Randomize
