Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
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You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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