I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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