There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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