If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is Oprah even human
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize