Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
