Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
