You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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