GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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