I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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