Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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