I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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