Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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